I wear a mask for myself, not for others.

No dreaming, no thinking. Forbidden.

Now I vomit my emotions immediately. I don’t want to think.

I am like a refrigerator: big, bright, clean, but empty.

I am very emotional here [in art therapy sessions] but not outside.

30 years of pain in my heart.

I want to live.

I don’t want to be sad.

It’s emotional. It’s a heart attack.

An emotional heart attack: an explosion of emotions.

You are born to live, live to love, and die happy.

A constellation of beliefs internalised over the years, which I no longer want to believe in, combined with their consequences.

I see a dream, a fantasy. Ad Rai. All extremes mixed into the image: hell - paradise, death - life, low - high, good - bad. Everyone can see what they want. (Kopfschmerzen)

[Ad Rai is a term used to describe the contrast between extreme states or experiences. It reflects the duality of life, where both positive and negative aspects can coexist.]

Melancholy. Painfully beautiful longing.

I am here, but my self is stuck somewhere along the way.

The high scares me; the uncertainty, the unknown, because I don’t know what will happen next. Friends are like diamonds: rare, precious, and there are many fakes.

I am glad to have met such real diamonds.

A piece

that doesn’t fit

or maybe it does?

_